Oeuvre of Passionate Hands

"No, really, I’m OK to drive."
–I’m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.

"I’m not used to these darts."
–I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.

"You get this one, next round is on me."
–We won’t be here long enough to get another round.

"I’ll get this one, next one is on you."
–Happy hour is about to end….now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they’ll be $4.50 a pop.

"I haven’t seen you around here for a long time."
–You stuck up little —–, too good for your old friends??

"Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
–I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

"Lets get out of here."
–I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy’s helmet.

"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
–If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I’ll do to you on the ride home?

"I don’t feel well, let’s go home." (female)
–You are paying more attention to your friends than me.

"I don’t feel well, lets go home." (male)
–I’m horny.

"I’ve had like 10 beers already."
–I’ve only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.

"Who’s got the next round?"
–I haven’t bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

"Excuse Me." (male to male)
–Get the f— out of the way.

 

End of Bar Translations

When you are asking for apples and life hands you lemons, make lemonade!

If you’re on your way out and it starts to rain, at least you don’t have to water the plants anymore.

It’s a matter of seeing things in perspective. The benefits may not be immediate or obvious, but you have to know this for sure:

There will be problems.
There will be struggles.

Have faith. Enjoy life!
Take it easy. 

If today you are picking up the grapes, tomorrow you’ll be drinking the wine! 

I cannot make sense out of your existence. It’s beige. I see beyond the crevice but what caused the chasm in the first place? What is this glacier surrounding me really made of? Besides, why must this fissure be so glorious when that which lies beyond is as vast as a newel?

No. You don’t get to ask. You can only try to answer. 

Now this is more like it. Mwahahahahahahaha!!!

Would you succeed in taking over the world? Yeah! All hail your new evil overlord! You managed to overlook the simple mistakes made by so many other amatuer evil doers, and now you control the world! Congratulation my liege! Mwahahahahah!

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Your Brain is 40% Female, 60% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes… You never like to get feelings too involved

 A man’s daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father.

 When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows.

 An empty chair sat beside his bed.

 The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit.

 "I guess you were expecting me, he said.

 ’No, who are you?"  said the father.

 The minister told him his name and then remarked,

 "I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up,"

 "Oh yeah, the chair," said the bedridden man.

 "Would you mind closing the door? "Puzzled, the minister shut the door.

 "I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter," said the man.

 "But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer,but it went right over my head."

 I abandoned any attempt at prayer," the old man continued, "until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me, "Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus.
 Here is what I suggest."

 "Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It’s not spooky because he promised, ‘I will be with you always’.

 "Then just speak to him in the same way you’re doing with me right now."

 "So, I tried it and I’ve liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day.

 I’m careful though If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she’d either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm."

 The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey.

 Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and returned to the church.

 Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon.

 Did he die in peace?" he asked.

 Yes, when I left the house about two o’clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek.

 When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead.
 But there was something strange about his death.

 Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed.
 What do you make of that?"

 The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said,

 "I wish we could all go like that."

I got this from a sis. I agree that its quite important and I just thought I’d share it with you.

 We all carry our mobile phones with hundreds of names/ numbers stored in its memory but yet nobody, other than ourselves, know which of these numbers belong to our near and dear ones?
 
In case we are involved in an accident or had a heart attack and the
people attending us get hold of our mobile phone but don’t know which number to call to inform our family members. Yes, there are many numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency?
 
For this reason, we must have one or more telephone numbers stored under the name ICE (In Case of Emergency) in our mobile phones.
 
Recently, the concept of "ICE" is catching up quickly. It is simple, an
important method of contact during emergency situations.
 
As cell phones are carried by majority of the population, just store the
number of a contact person or person who should be contacted at during emergency as" ICE" ( In Case of Emergency).
 
The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when they went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn’t know which number to call.
 
He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a
nationally recognized name for this purpose.
 
In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital
staff would then be able to quickly contact your next of kin, by simply
dialing the number stored as "ICE".
 
Please forward this. It won’t take too many "forwards" before every body will know about this.
 
It really could save your life, or put a loved one’s mind at rest.
 
For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc.
A great idea that will make a difference!
 
Let’s spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our mobile phones today.

 Im using a Motorola Phone & I can store duplicate phone numbers under different names so this shouldn’t be a problem. Although, I currently live in Philippines and I have my home phone number stored under the name BAHAY (which generally means home/house in the local language). I guess we can also consider using that name for home phones. That is if anyone at that number can be considered important enough to call during an emergency.

 

I also googled the word ICE and I came up with a site that works as a personal assistant for medics to call "In Case of Emergency". Emergency services will contact ICE and ICE will provide the information needed by the medical staff about you or a loved one. They also provide you with a personal ID code on a card, stickers and key tabs! Pretty neat huh?! Well if you want to know more about them just hover and click on ICE. 

You can also click on this. Its also related to ICE.

 Dictionary of Musical Terms

JAZZ : Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.
BLUES : Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.
WORLD MUSIC : A dozen different types of percussion all going at once.
OPERA : People singing when they should be talking.
RAP : People talking when they should be singing.
CLASSICAL : Discover the other 45 minutes they left out of the TV ad.
FOLK : Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century.
BIG BAND : 20 men who take it in turns to stand up plus a drummer.
HEAVY METAL : Codpiece and chaps
HOUSE MUSIC : OK as long as it’s not the house next door.

You Are Bart Simpson

Very misunderstood, most people just dismiss you as "trouble." Little do they know that you’re wise and well accomplished beyond your years. You will be remembered for: starring in your own TV show and saving the town from a comet Your life philosophy: "I don’t know why I did it, I don’t know why I enjoyed it, and I don’t know why I’ll do it again!"

  We choose how we see people. When we want to like someone we can be so tolerant. When we find someone we seem to dislike, we focus on their faults - thus irritating us of their existence. It’s not always other people’s behavior that determines how we feel about them. Sometimes its out attitude.

If you give up when it’s winter, you’ll surely miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summerand the fulfillment of your fall. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joys of all the rest. Don’t just judge life by one difficult season but instead persevere through the difficult patches for better ones are sure to come, some time later!

I need to run! I’ll complete this mission of fixing my blog template tomorrow! see yah!